Review Number 1

Title: Vanity
Author: Miss Cheryline
URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Anndrise2/
Reviewed by: Sweetcherry

Title: 5/5
The title suits your story perfectly. It fits the idea of Gui Gui's illusion of her life. Plus, it's not a common title, as far as I know.

Forewords: 10/10
You didn't give away to much information about the story. It's just enough. At first, I honestly have no idea of what your story would be about. But after I read it, the forewords make perfect sense! This is how a forewords suppose to be like, so nice job!

Plot: 18/20
The plot is great! It's not a typical love story. When I found out that their marriage isn't base on love but rather on each other's benefits and there's a hint of "love can be nurtured", I thought that they would get together in the end, somehow. Turned out, it's not like that. Although you did mention a sad ending, I still hoped for something happy. The ending did make me sad ...for a few minutes, but overall, it's what makes your story stands out. Leave the readers an impression afterward is always important, even if it's just a few minutes!

You described the characters' feelings and personalities well. Although the story focused more on Gui Gui's point of view, I still got a good picture of Aaron. In the end, when Gui Gui called him and figured out what he was doing, her disappointment and sadness really stood out to the readers. As I said before, it really made me sad. You made Aaron looked like a bad guy in here, which doesn't happen often since we're always see him as someone perfect - Charming Prince. You completely twisted, or should I say, destroyed, this image! It doesn't really matter as long as the characters fit in your storyline. Sometimes, a little twist here and there won't hurt.
I took a few points of because this whole storyline isn't that creative. A marriage based on benefits instead of true love leads to an unhappy life. Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Originality: 6/10
This story isn't really original since the storyline is rather a common issue. Maybe a little twist in the end?

Style of your writing: 15/15
Nothing to comment here. Your writing's style is just perfect. It's what makes your story so special and unique although the storyline isn't that all original!

Spelling, Grammar, and Punctuation: 15/15
I found no evidence against you in this criteria!

Descriptions and Word Choice: 10/10
The descriptions are well-written.Your vocabulary is great and you know how to use it in the story.
These are my favorites: "The chances of a happy marriage would drastically decrease if either one of the party gives just one percent less. What about our couple here? Were they doing all that was needed to ensure a happy marriage? Wasn’t there a saying, you reap what you sow? But alas, all the books blinded them of the real and vital knowledge of life."

Appearance (Poster and Background): 2/10
You don't have a poster/background. They said "Don't judge the book by it's cover", but we still do anyway. You really need something visually attract in your story.

Creativity and Bonus: 3/5
Bonus points for such an excellent storytelling skill! I really enjoyed reading this story! Keep up the good work!

Total: 84/100